Key Ranks ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘

This page explains what the Keys in Major Keys are, how you earn them and what you can redeem them for.

What are “the Keysย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘”?

“The Keysย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘” are the major currency in Major Keys. They symbolize loyalty to the page as well as how good of a satire writer you are. The higher your Key Rank, the more respected you are in the community.

As of this writing, authorย Hugh Janus is the #1 Key holder.

What can I use “the Keysย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘”ย for?

First of all, there’s levels to this shit young boy, so don’t get ahead of yourself.

There are 6 levels for Key Holders with different privileges (#checkyourprivilege). You start as an “average Joe” with no privileges. The last level is “God” which basically allows you to do anything you want on the page (yes, even destroy it forever). We won’t tell you how many Keys you need to get there.

Additionally, as you get more keys we will randomly give out prizes (some of them are uselessย like a portable charger and others are really useful like a used inhaler and toilet seat cover).

There’s a hidden way to get 100,000ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘. Find it.

How do I earn Keys๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘, master?

You can earn keys by:

  • posting content
  • viewing content
  • commenting on other people’s content
  • referring other people to Major Keys

How many Keysย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย do I earn per action?

Here’s you go:

  • 35ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย for creating an article and getting it approved
  • 1ย ๐Ÿ”‘ย every time someone sees your article
  • 2ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย if you read other people’s posts
  • 5ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย for referring someone to any post or page using your affiliate link.*
  • 20ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย if someone signs up using your affiliate link.*
  • and many more ways thatย you have to find out by yourself.

*Your affiliate link is

Canย I lose Keysย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘?

Yes, you’ll lose keys if you do any of the following:

  • -37๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย for posting inappropriate content or content that doesn’t meet our guidelines.
  • -10ย ๐Ÿ”‘๐Ÿ”‘ย if you haven’tย posted content in the last 7 days
  • some other dumb shit that you might come up with that pisses us off.