By Dave Liebowitz
UCLA students are blessed to have the John Wooden Center as their gym. A rock-climbing wall, gymnastics room, plenty of squat racks, etc. Most people go to the gym for the first 2 weeks of the quarter and will not return until pre-Spring Break preparations come along. Others are extremely committed to their workout routine and make sure they go to the gym on a daily basis. Whatever the case, the thousands of students who have stepped foot in the gym can be broken down into five distinct categories.
- The Show-Off
This person is there for two reasons, to get gains and to be seen. They have been working on their bodies for a long time and can name all the supplements you need to “achieve your goals.” You can spot this person wearing really tight and bombastic solos or tank tops that seem just a little too small for them. In addition, they may be looking at themselves in the mirror for a little too long. Either way, the gym is their place to shine and they want everyone around them to know it.
- The Super Sweaty Dude
He’s easy to spot by the towel station or furiously drinking water looking like he just jumped out of the pool. When he spots you, do not be surprised if a drip of sweat from his forehead falls onto your face or if he leaves a puddle of sweat on the bench when he gets off. He constantly is running back and forth with disinfectant spray and tries his best to be courtesy to others. I know first-hand, because I am the sweaty dude at the gym. If you feel like you are the sweaty dude at the gym, the best thing to do is to just ignore it.
- The Person Who Has No idea What They Are Doing
You can spot this person perplexed about how the smith machine works or making sad attempts about how to properly deadlift. They are the gym novices, and they usually give their best effort but their form is as ungraceful as yourself throwing up in the bushes behind Treehouse. Their face is riddled with confusion and their body language is equally as much.
- The Person That Won’t Go Squadless
The gym is full of squads of people who work out together. They depend on each other for spots, eat with each other after, and help alleviate any insecurity one might feel. And so when one someone has to make-up a reading assignment they forgot and the other just isn’t feeling it that leaves the dedicated one all alone. In the end, he will not make it to the gym because he refuses to go squadless.
- The Talker
Now does this person get anything close to a productive workout down at the gym? Absolutely not. But do they go up to every person at the gym to see how they are doing? That’s their specialty. Similar in nature to the Show-off, this person’s purpose at the gym is to be seen there but for just being there. They ask you how your classes are going and if you heard of any good plans tonight, but it seems like they take up the majority of the conversation answering their own questions.